"Cause you will be somebody's girl, and you will keep eachother warm...but tonight, I am feeling cold."

I wonder sometimes about the purpose and reasoning behind the people God puts in my life. Even the smallest, most seemingly insignificant ones tend to affect me greatly. People that I meet, enjoy and learn from in my life constantly come and go because of life itself. Lately, as I venture off to more and more places and extend my social boundaries, I am continuely stumbling upon more and more people that I am in love with. I ultimately know that our time is very short though because my life is about to change so drastically. And well, what if I don't want them to go?

Ode to the Blackberry

My precious grandmother was inspired while picking blackberries in her yard a few days ago. So, naturally (since she just got her first computer this year and is obsessed with e-mailing) she typed it out and e-mailed it to me. I think it's funny. You may not, but here it is nonetheless:


ODE TO THE BLACKBERRY

By Joyce Brewer


In a cobbler or jam they're delicious,
but those thorns on the vine can be vicious!
If your blood type is rare,
only pick if you dare.
And thank the Good Lord they're nutricious!

Their looks and their taste, mere delusion!
Those bugs and the heat cause confusion.
If your skin is your pride,
from those thorns you must hide--
Unless you desire a transfusion!


I wrote this line for Herb! (her husband)


Eating this fruit has its merits,
but the next man I wed will raise carrots!

Logic

I feel like God is constantly showing me flaws in humans as of late. I don't mean that in a seemingly judgemental manner, because I know it intially sounds like that, but I mean it to say that I'm realizing more and more how people fail me. Me being the person I am, take so much personal interest in the way people are. It interests me greatly to try and understand why they are the way they are by the things they say, do, and the philosophies they hold and the stories and reasons they carry behind them. Sometimes though, when I find a particular person who, in my eyes, appears extremely interesting because of their knowledge and ideas, I tend to get real excited. I become..mm.. mildly obsessed. (not really, but kinda)

I do this frequently with teachers, um, a youth intern or two... haha um..authors, my friends even, and various other people I randomly meet and know. My friends that are reading this are probably laughing because they know it's true, and they probably can name like 5 people off the top of their heads that I've done this with. I idolize them in a sense because I know I have so much that I can learn from them and I desire to learn from them, I want to know their inner most thoughts.. I'm just creepy like that. So, I temporarily become mildly obsessed and somewhat idolize these people in order to learn as much as I can. I quote them, I befriend them and I share my newfound philosophies with others. I am not a creeper, I just love learning from others, because all my past experiences result with me learning from someone.

In most cases these people teach me something about my faith. For example, I was mildly obsessed with Shane Claiborne for a while, and drove down to Waco just to hear him speak for 45 minutes. The reason behind this was because I loved his book, and I learned a great deal from it, so I wanted to meet the man behind the words ya know? Makes sense I think. But, as I wrote about a few months ago, I was highly disappointed once I actually met him.

Many others are the same. I fall in love with their words, their ideas, their love, their strength, their faith and I want to mimic them in order to transform myself more into the person I think God wants me to be. But every single time I do this, I am disappointed at one point, because I am somehow shown, magically, that they are human. I get a little disappointed sometimes, because it truely is a let down to see flaws in the people you least expect. But, oh yeah, we're human. Duh.

And I think He's showing me this more lately. Actually, He's screaming at me. Along the way through my let downs and disappointments, God is shoving countless signs in my face that most obviously point to Him. Despite the great things these people are doing and saying, sin still holds that sick grip on them. All the things that I love about these people come from the One being who has never failed me yet. They are characteristics that stem from Him. Every good thing comes from God, right? Everything else in this world will fail me, but God never will. Even throughout the death of His instruments, God's plan still prevails ever so strongly and His music still rings consistently all around me. I need to wrap my mind around the motivation to be more like my God, rather than His servants. Because God works through the man, the man is merely His instrument. We are nothing, yet we are everything through Him. God is God and they are not. It's all logic really.