Dear Statistics Test,

I will begin by saying that I am NOT looking forward to taking you tomorrow. I started off so well and now you are a foreign language to me. I don't know when this transition took place... but I am not feeling the warmest towards you anymore. However!, I refuse to be the following:

-nervous
-anxious
-stressed
-negative

I have repeatedly been told that feelings like this are not good or productive. In fact, a positive attitude will increase my chances of doing better, or something. AND either way I am an optimist now days anyway. So needless to say that even though I do not even have to take you tomorrow, I intend on doing it anyway and doing WELL. I accept this challenge. OK?? Whatcha say 'bout that? I'm just going to simply say I'm "not looking forward to it". I'm also going to simply throw out the idea that I don't think it's fair that my calculator is not adequate or equipped enough to handle some of your math. I have to do ten times the work to come up with the same answer. But who's complaining? Not me! And not all things in life are enjoyable anyway. Right? So. I'll be better because of this. Right?

My pessimistic nature and defeatist tendencies have left the campus.
*fingers crossed*

Yours Truly,
Kenz

P.S. Throw me a bone!!!!!! ???

And it's not the way that you say my name; it's the things you say that just bring me to my knees when I'm defeated. And it's not the way that you turn my head; it's the way you turn my world around a single thread that I'm hanging on.
So I'll start to run and forget to crawl, I'll come back to you..

'cause our battle is best fought like it's being won.

Thinking a lot about innocence and stuff. Weird

Well tonight I finally acted on this on-going craving I have had for an avacado. It was only ok, but I'm still glad I did it. And I bought 3 so I plan to have another one tomorrow. It made me think of Chipotle, which in turn made me think of Kara and Mallory. Funny how things like that happen. I also signed up for a Kroger Plus card tonight. I think I have an old one somewhere, but this one is new and shiny and I know where it is. This is really all there is right now... really. I strangely don't care though. My thoughts have finally slowed down the past few days. It feels good to care about small, stupid stuff. I have good friends.

Conclusion to Saturday

Well, tonight was slightly more successful.

Some positives include good dinner, good friends and good old friends. Music, guitar, thinking, candy, praying.. etc.

Some more...eh.. well, not so great things about tonight include me calling someone the b-word. I only sorta feel bad about this, but I figure me typing this publicly as sort of a confession will help keep myself mentally accountable... or something. Also I'm using this blog as an admission of guilt because, well, I only SORTA feel bad about it. I don't know, God and I talking about it. Hopefully He'll help release some of that unnecessary resentment. Not good. But it was immature and unnecessary of me. So, sorry.

K, I feel better now, thanks.

My successful Saturday so far..

Get up at a reasonable hour. Fail.
Eat. Fail.
Do some math homework. Fail.
Clean my room. Fail.
Laundry. Fail.
Online shop. Fail. (although probably a good thing)
Catch up with some people. Also fail.


dang it.



I guess I like to spend all my time up in my own brain.

Things that are not in the least bit appealing and maybe even slightly repulsive to me at the current moment:

-research
-children
-weddings/wedding dresses
-pumpkins in the form of food
-cleaning
-obligations
-growing up sorta
-statistics
-the anticipation and preparation involved for my next art appreciation test
-wet
-ants

thanks